Hurry Up and Wait!

January 30, 2010

After a week of skirted anxiety I was supposed to begin my chemo on Thursday. Well, on Wednesday I received a call that all of the beds were full and they would call me when one became available. Now my biggest frustration is wondering whether or not to defrost meat for dinner, will it end up going to waste if I get the call?

I had my port inserted on Wednesday. I wasn’t nervous at all actually, over the past year I’ve gotten used to biopsies, surgeries, and the sort. I found it odd that I was allowed to keep on my jeans but wear a gown over them. I thought in the bathroom about how ridiculous I would look if something happened and I had to leave the hospital wearing jeans and a hospital gown. Would people think it was how I stylishly dressed? If it was just a hospital gown it’d be obvious but paired with my holy jeans? Seriously though, I’ve never ever been allowed to keep on my own clothes, something about the room being sterile…perhaps that didn’t matter?

I’m guessing it was because the surgical techs wanted me to join in on their dance party they had going on when I was wheeled into the room. It was a blinding white room with “Castles in the Sky” blaring. I lifted my head to a guy who looked about 25 who looked as if he was trying to use some sort of tool as a glow-stick and simply said “Oh God, I hope you’re not the doctor.”

The rest of the procedure went fine, I was under conscious sedation and vaguely remember babbling on and on about Disney. I recall saying something about hating height sticks, I’m sure the doctor was wondering exactly what I was talking about. I hope it came out clear and he doesn’t think he was saving some sort of perv.

After that, I was sore but fine. My mom and I stopped at Wendy’s and then I went home and passed out. So now, it’s a waiting game. The thing that ticks me off is I know the day I take out meat for dinner will be the day I’m called…

“Laugh as much as you breath and love as long as you live.” – Unknown


2 Responses to “Hurry Up and Wait!”

  1. Cindy Wade said

    God says “I am with you always”. pure and simple. He is with you always. Seek him when you need a shoulder to put your head on, to be held, to be hugged and to be loved so much! You are sooooooooooooo loved by God. Know that! I am praying for you every day! God Bless you sweet girl. and your family.

  2. Jennifer Silvey said

    I love that you’re focusing so much on the meat. And I find it humorous that talking about Disney was almost mantra like.

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